Salinger is So Last Century
Intertextuality being the name of the game here in the hyperlink era, it’s only proper that I establish a connection to a fictional work that can serve as a broad allegory of my current spiritual/existential predicament. After a five-to-seven minute session of racking my brain for appropriate artistic references, I’ve come up with two ideas.
I’ve never actually read The Count of Monte Cristo, nor even seen any of the movie versions except for a few snippets of the most recent feature film adaptation (the one starring the guy who played the Candidate in the movie by the guy who works for the Rome branch and played the white guy in the Lethal Weapon movies). But I know the basic plot: guy gets thrown in jail, meets crazy old guy who teaches him some sweet moves, escapes, finds buried treasure, exacts revenge, lives happily-ever-after. I think.
Anyway, the theme of imprisonment, escape and subsequent personal re-invention resonates with me, since following my forced deactivation by the Triumvirate I’ve realized that my the nature of my next assignment is going to be radically different from the relatively comfortable field position I had set myself up in previously. [The specifics of that assignment are of course classified at a level above my pay grade at this point, to (hopefully) be revealed (roughly) contemporaneously with my reactivation.] The only problem is, like I said, I haven’t actually read the book yet. That’s a situation that can be remedied, since I have Agent Sister’s weathered copy on hand right now, but it might be a little presumptuous (albeit very postmodern) to start randomly quoting the book without having read it.
Which leads me to my other option:
The track suit is in the mail
The plot follows a similar path: the hero(ine) is incapacitated (in this case, put into a coma) by enemies on whom the hero(ine) seeks revenge upon being released/waking, which in the case of The Bride takes the form of running around in a ridiculous yellow track suit swinging a katana around.
I saw the Kill Bill movies a while ago and I’m a bit rusty, but they look like my best option at this point. I guess I might as well invest in a katana and suit up in one of these loaded with “Battle Without Honor or Humanity.”
The real question, of course, is which is cheaper and/or will take up less space: purchasing, Jerry Fletcher-style, multiple copies of the book (unabridged, of course) or the movies. Stockpiling hard drives stuffed with digital copies of the Kill Bill movies might be lurid enough to be intriguing; however, I would then run the risk of being prosecuted for pirating before doing anything of note, so that’s probably out. I’ll have to think about this one.
In any case, I guess it gives me another book to read. 1000+ pages? Well, it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do . . . .
